Santa Letter Repo Claus

This funny letter from Santa warns ungrateful recipients that "Repo" Claus will come take away their presents.

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Dear Susie,

So. You and I have had some trouble in the past with gifts. Maybe I haven't been the most intuitive philanthropist in the world, and maybe you've been a little ungrateful. Whatever.

This year I'm making some clear rules. If, on December 26, I feel like you're not significantly 'in the spirit' of Christmas, I'm sending my brother after you.

Repo Claus lives in the South Pole and rides a sleigh pulled by komodo dragons. He takes back all of the gifts and toys from whining Scrooges like you. You may be visited by Repo Claus for any of the following reasons:

• Undetectable amounts of holiday spirit
• Complained about nature of gift
• Complained about quality of gift
• Felt that gift was "not a fair exchange" for milk and cookies
• Tried to return gift to the store
• Tried to hock gift on eBay
• Tried to re-gift gift to coworkers, family, or friends

I hope that this year you really reevaluate what's important to you. Otherwise, Repo Claus might take your TV, too. He's really not terribly discriminate.

Love,

Santa

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